Happy Independence Day!

"I believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be celebrated by pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other." - John Adams
Sounds like a good idea to me!

July 4th, 1776 (A gathering of all the signers on one single day like this never actually took place but it's a nice representation anyway.)

July 4, 2009

Ah, I just love nature...now make it go away!

In recent times I have heard so many concerned voices trying to raise awareness about the wildlife that continues to dwindle on the planet due to humankind's mistreatment of our ever more fragile environment. Species after species teeters on the brink of extinction while others are gone forever. Some, however, I am quite sure, are trying to move in with me.

I returned Saturday evening to find that construction was well underway for a posh new honey bee housing development just a few feet away from what I like to call the front door. These amazing creatures, these makers of sticky sweetness, had - in a matter of a few hours - transformed this calm shady brick enclosed area (the architectural term escapes me) into a wildlife museum exhibit. After a quick intake of breath and a high-pitched "holy [something or other]!", I respectfully skirted by the colony, averting my gaze in much the same manner that I employ when trying to avoid talking to someone I know at the grocery store.

The apis mellifera and I are getting along quite well now that we have an understanding...with the exception of a small breech of the bee/human agreement, an incident that I will now describe in only slightly embellished detail.

I have long possessed an intense interest in biology and science in general so it should come as no surprise that I found it necessary to step out from time to time and observe the progress of our new neighbors as they built their little honeycomb mini-mall. The mistake was surely mine, however, when I chose to open the door after dark and after the porch light had been on for a while. A small gathering of what I suspect were the delinquent teenage bees was just beginning their drunken journey back to the hive after a night out at their favorite local hangout - the 40 Watt Bulb. Upon seeing the even more impressive light source spilling out into the recent darkness, the party atmosphere was revived for the individuals with a later curfew and these more adventurous bees decided to let themselves right into the house, undoubtedly to scout out make-out spots...(kids these days). Luckily, it was only four bees - a double date, apparently.

Now, I know what you are wondering: But Kim, honey bees are all male except for the queen. It's just ridiculous that you would presume that these particular bees were involved in some kind of romantic rendezvous. Hey, worker bees need companionship like everyone else. Those are some pretty horrible odds they have to deal with and they're doing the best they can. Whatever they do in their private lives is none of my never mind. This, however, was occurring in the light fixture right about where I occasionally eat dinner so I sucked the little stinkers out of there with the vacuum cleaner hose in a very Ghostbuster-esque display. Crisis averted. The idea to use the Eureka Smart Vac was not mine but, oh, I wish it had been. My bright idea involved newspaper, peanut butter and duct tape. While possibly quite amusing, this plan was ill-advised.

If this bee imposition was not enough unwanted and inappropriately located nature, I found this little guy in the window sill inches away from where I while away hours on the internet...uh...I mean research and study to enrich my mind. Not horrible or life-threatening, I grant you, but if there is something more disconcerting than finding a lizard in the house while your trying to write a paper, it's leaving the room for a moment to return and find that said lizard is nowhere to be seen, meaning he/she (not sure of the lizard's gender) could be anywhere! I spent the rest of the evening trying to expound on socialization as it pertains to cross-cultural aspects of language-learning while attempting to keep my feet from touching the floor where I was sure the lizard would attack if given the opportunity. Alright, lizards don't attack but they scuttle in a most shiver-inducing fashion! Also, I had reason to question the trustworthiness of this particular reptile since it acted nothing short of dead when I poked it repeatedly and then disappeared when I wasn't looking. I don't like his shifty little eyes.

And I am, at this very moment, observing a cricket and a nondescript bug examine some crumbs of what I think used to be Doritos. If I want anymore nature, I will subscribe to the Nature Channel, thank you.

Note: For those of you who may be concerned, be assured that the appropriate steps have been taken to solve the honeybee infestation. Fortunately, the person who owns the house in which I live is a responsible adult you feels strongly that a simple call to the HOA will be more effective than me trying to talk the colony into relocating to the neighborhood down the street. I appreciated the chance to try it my method anyway.

Wait, Wait, Wait...

Okay, I know Easter is over but let me just post this so that the shoes aren't at the top of the screen anymore. I think we should have more holidays that involve painting food, don't you?

Alright, thanks for looking. You can move on to Cinco de Mayo now.

Shoes...yup.

You: Kim, you didn't buy those shoes, did you?
Kim: Don't ask me silly questions. Of course I did.

The reasons are these:
1. They came with markers so you can color in the little pictures. In the store, I thought to myself, these are either ridiculous or FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!
2. They also came with two - count 'em - TWO sets of laces. It's like free.
3. They remind me of the Punky Brewster shoes I had when I was eight.

The Post-It Post! (How's that for a title?)

Another Saturday afternoon questionably spent...